I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
