I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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