U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
We are two peas in an std pod
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
