I'm drive I can fine osifer
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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