I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
