So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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