dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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