She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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