I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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