I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
