I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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