i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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