i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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