I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
