Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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