did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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