a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
