Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
