Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
