I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
