Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
