So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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