Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
