after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
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My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
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can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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