I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
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