butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
MIDGETS
????
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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