i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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