He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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