this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
