dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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