He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
