Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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