I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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