We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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