He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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