It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
