I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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