theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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