we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
