I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
