the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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