why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Randomize
