you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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