Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
