i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Randomize
