talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
