also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
