Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You are the jesus of drinking
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
