Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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