she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
why is half of my head shaved?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
