I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize