I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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