It's Friday. Sex?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
