If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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