No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
