Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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