Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
