I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
