As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
