the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
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